Is Tuna Chicken or Fish?

Sweet Jesus Christ!

It's happened again!
Jess Simpson has gone and recorded one of my favourite songs and completely destroyed it. (Of course.)
The first one was Giorgio Moroder's beautiful 'Take my breath away' that he did with Berlin 20 years ago. The first time I heard her version I literally cried of anger in front of the TV. When she did 'These boots are made for walking' I ended up in hospital with IV drip. NOW she's gone and recorded 'You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)' by Dead or Alive and fruit basket Pete Burns. Why oh why??!!! I don't know what's most worrying. The fact that she's done it or that I seem to share a taste in music with Jessy and her manager dad. (I'm on heart medication as I'm writing these words.)

Jessica is like one of those annoying chicks that you went to school with. Blonde with massive tits and a huge smile and a sliver of personality behind the mascara. You know that chick that always had a boyfriend and talked about how much sex they had and then got offended if you even hinted that she was a fat cow with no life. Yes - that type.
And then at class parties she always had her own burnt CD's with "music" that she forced down everyone's throat and then danced porno style with her boyfriend behind her and we all just died and went out for a fag.
When we came back she was usually making out with her squeeze in the sofa and playing some hideous ballad about l.o.v.e when everyone else wanted to dance.

YES - Jessy is that person.
And it's time that we stand up against her once and for all so we can have our record collection to ourselves and some peace and quiet when we have our electro parties dancing porno style to the fruit basket and the lovely Nancy Sinatra remixed.

Peace.

"Is tuna chicken or fish because it says here
on the can - 'chicken of the sea.'"

Jessica Simpson 2004
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Comments

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