She's baaaack!

Remember when Michael Jackson was cute and not a freak?
When Whitney was known for not being able to dance to her own 'I wanna dance with somebody' but tried for dear life instead of an old hoe with a face like an old snake skin handbag?
When Lindsay Lohan was a cute girl who starred in films like 'The Parent Trap' and not a skinny bitch with serious problems?
When Mariah was 20 and shattered mirrors with her voice and not her reflection?
When Liza Minnelli was queen of the world basically and not a skeleton with a baaaaaaad wig?
Yeah, that feels like a very, very long time ago.
What to do?
The easiest thing is of course to throw away the old and buy something new. Like Bianca Ryan.
I have an eerie feeling that she is the next big thing. I mean, she's 11 and has a voice that probably makes Celine Dion cry at night in her Las Vegas dressing room. And we all know how disturbingly many record that c**t has sold.
Anyway, since she's 11 she probably can last for the next 20 years before she cracks and becomes the next usedtobecuteandnormalandnotaweirdowithamonkeyandfrozenforehead
eating500caloriesaday.
But seriously, Miss Ryan's voice is so good it's scaring us.
I mean, come on, what did you do when you were 11? Singing in the shower? Asking your parents if you could have a dog?
Performing in front of the whole of America and sounding like a soul legend?
We are looking forward to see what will become of her. After the legal battles, Pepsi commercials, public meltdowns and kiss and tell stories that is.

See Bianca in action.

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Celine Dion singing Jacko's 'Bad' really bad.